When someone seeks Coaching or Therapy what is their raison d’etre?
What are they seeking?
Now I don’t want these to appear as fatuous questions but what I’m driving at is – what is the ultimate goal? You see, we are all dragging baggage around with us of some descript but the weight of said baggage varies enormously from person to person doesn’t it?
With Coaching it tends to be that people are seeking direction in their life at this moment in time. Perhaps they are feeling stuck in a situation or relationship. Maybe they’re in a dead end job or are looking to move on in their career but need a bit of a push to get them going. Coaching offers a set of really useful tools to see where you are, it helps you create a vision of where you want to go and gives you the confidence to get up and go for it.
Therapy on the other hand deals with things that have happened to you that you are finding difficult to deal with or let go. (I use the term ‘let go’ with reservation – naturally with trauma it’s difficult nay impossible to let go but this is the language that up until now a trauma sufferer may have been subjected to).
However I bring us back to the original question “What do we want?” and I’m going to offer an answer –
“I just want to be happy”
“I can only be happy if I have a million in the bank”
“I’ll be happy when you stop doing that”
“I’ll be happy if the sun shines today”
“I can no longer be happy because of what happened to me”
“I can no longer be happy because of what I did (or didn’t do)”
…….and so on, and so on, and so on.
But you see the thing with happiness is, how will you know when you’ve got it?
What will be different in your physiology, your feelings, your emotions that tell you that you are happy?
We are sensory creatures in that we experience everything through our senses and all this information is sent to the brain to make sense of.
What we’re exceptionally good at is running movies of the negative stuff over and over again, building layer upon layer of crap on itself stirring feelings and emotions adding nicely to the crap heap and yet we are less likely to use the same process for the good stuff; weird isn’t it?
So it’s time to use theses tactics in a more positive way and learn to be happy a lot more of the time and have the ability to turn it on when we want it.
What do you reckon?